Soap you'd want to eat, phones in the bathroom, and a Seraphic lunch

We are in sunny Los Angeles for a conference (presentation is tomorrow, still working on it thank you very much) and staying in a downtown hotel. It's an interesting place, LA. The soap in the bathroom is coconut lime verbena. In the shower, warm vanilla sugar. It makes me hungry to wash my face.

There's a wall phone next to the commode. The commode is flushed by pushing a button in the side of the counter (No, I am not normally obsessed with bathrooms. This one is just sort of astonishing). We conjectured that the phone in the bathroom is handy if your agent calls with a movie offer while you are flossing or whatever. I guess cell phones have made the bathroom phone extinct. Why haven't we heard about this?

The ever patient and kind Andy has graciously chauffered us around today, which makes me feel doubly bad that I left the chocolate chip cookies I made him back in UniTown (in the garbage can, no less, something I will explain later in this post). This morning we visited the Page museum, a.k.a. the La Brea tar pits which are not actually ON La Brea. That was a fascinating place, and I wished Son was along to enjoy it with us.

Then we met up with my formerly-cyber-but-now-real-life friend Robert at his favorite restaurant, the Pico Kosher Deli. It more than lived up to its reputation and although Robert insists he is not very interesting in person, he really is. We had a great time with him, even though he made me explain what it is that I do...well, I, um...uh....

After lunch we stuffed our stuffed selves into the car and went down the road a piece to the Museum of Tolerance, where we were stopped and the car searched before we were allowed to proceed into the parking garage. We were warned not to take cameras, food, or drink into the building--so we made a few jokes about political correctness and divested ourselves of anything that the museum might not tolerate. Except that Youngest Daughter forgot about my camera in her bag, and Andy forgot about his Swiss Army knife so the car got visited a couple more times before we all went through the metal detector and entered the museum itself.

There wasn't anything funny about this museum, though. We were privileged to hear Holocaust survivor Eva Brown talk about her experiences as a 16 year old in the concentration camps. What an inspiring person she is! And, at the end of her talk, she asked us all to get together in a group and she took pictures of us. That was really something. Youngest Daughter bought her book, and Ms. Brown signed it for her.

Afterwards we went to the second floor to see the exhibit of items belonging to children murdered in the Holocaust, including some that belonged to Anne Frank. Around the corner was an exhibit of drawings by children from Darfur. And, finally, on the third floor, a series of rooms talking about the importance of family and knowing where we came from. It was really an interesting visit, and not what we expected at all.

So about the cookies--I had stayed up late to make a batch of chocolate chips to bring to my friends here. The cookies were in a Glad container, and in a plastic grocery bag with some peppers and radishes. When we left the condo, I took the bag, along with my luggage, my computer, the kitchen garbage, and a bag of litter--and threw all the plastic bags in the garbage can.

It wasn't until I got to my parents' house that I realized I didn't have the food bag, and I thought I left it in the condo. Dad drove us to the condo on the way to the airport, and I ran in--but no bag. That's when I figured the bag was in the garage, inside the garbage can--but I had no garage door opener, because THAT is in my truck's glove compartment, and my truck is at my parents' house.

Argh!

I will have to ship some cookies here after I get home.

Anyway, that's our LA Story at the moment. More later, I am sure!

Man-caused disasters? Overseas Contingency Operation?

I have to keep looking up that OCO thing. Yeah, those phrases make a whole lot of sense.

Back when I was in undergrad, one of my professors handed out a management buzz-phrase generator that had been around since the 40s. Weirdly, some of the phrases we use now were in that generator....but I digress.

Since it's now a new century, with new problems to name, here's the Obama-matic (TM) Content-free Euphemism Generator, courtesy of Fred Schwartz:

Pick one from each column to generate your own uselessly nuanced phrase, and apply to a concept whose name once had actual meaning:

I'm guessing "Proactive Correction Facility" will replace "re-education camps" pretty soon.

Oh man, what a day

Note to self: Never ever ever ever schedule three defenses in one day. I thought my head was going to explode.

I'm going to take my achy, tired out old self right to bed.

Random stuff

• I heard on the radio today that Obama sent out an e-mail to his campaign supporter list asking people to go out last weekend and try to talk their neighbors into supporting his budget. Even if I liked the guy, which I don't, and even if I agreed with him on anything, which I emphatically don't, I'd find that creepy. Ew. What are these, pod people?
  
• Youngest Daughter got her financial aid statement from Big U. All I can say is "Ouch." This is gonna hurt. Maybe I can sell cookies and lemonade in front of my house to earn some extra money. :-)
  
• I had a horseradish gravy malfunction Sunday. I have this Tupperware container I use to mix the flour and cold water before I put it in the drippings. Well, I was putting the top on it--and the top popped off and I had water and flour EVERYWHERE. What a mess. Essentially, I glued my floor. Sigh. The gravy turned out good though.
  
• I have this corn plant that Son left with me. Normally I kill indoor plants, but this one--and the spider plant he left with me--and the Chinese palm he left with me--these three are still growing. The corn plant is HUGE. I put it away from the window in hopes that it would slow down its growth, but it's just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Mom says to donate it to someplace that needs a big plant in their foyer. At this rate, it might serve as a Christmas tree substitute!
• ED won a banner stand at her trade show! Whoohoo!
• Think it's safe to take the tube sand out of my truck yet?
• I've scheduled all my student meetings and office hours to Mondays and Tuesdays so I have large blocks of time the rest of the week to work on stuff. So far it's been going well but man, am I absolutely wiped out by Tuesday night.
  

Happy Birthday, Son!

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Son,
Happy birthday to you!

May you live long with us,
May you live long with us,
May you live long, may you live long,
May you live long with us!

Njech nam zhje stolat,
Njech nam zhje stolat,
Njech nam zhje stolat Son,
Happy birthday to you!

Love you and miss you tons and tons. Enjoy the two batches of chocolate chip cookies! I am so glad they got there for your birthday.

KittySon and KittyMama say "Meow" and miss you too.

Leisure time stuff

I don't get a lot of leisure time, but I've made a conscious effort lately to take time away from the computer and professorial duties to pursue other creative things, like practice all my musical instruments (well, I've not done that yet) and pick up a craft I've not done in ages.

When I was about 6 or so my mom bought me a little embroidery kit. It came in a cardboard box that latched (so cool, I thought) with embroidery stitch instructions pasted inside the top cover. The project was a cross-stitched dress scarf that I never finished, since even way back then I got bored really easily, but I started trying other stitches and got fairly good at needlework.

Stay-at-home moms know that you've always got more time than money. I wasn't any different. So I used my needlework talents to make Christmas and birthday presents for friends and family--beaded purses, wall hangings, embellished sweatshirts, smocking, tea cozies, pillows, etc. Then when I started engineering school, I had no time AND no money.

Now I've got some money, still no time. But I've been trying, for about 15 minutes a day, to work on a couple projects. One is a gift that I won't reveal because I know the intended recipient reads this blog (ha!). The other is a set of pillowcases for Eldest Daughter. Waiting in the wings: linen napkins for ED, a set of pillowcases for Youngest Daughter, and another gift that I won't reveal because the intended recipient reads this blog--but THAT project is a great leap (linen, silk floss, and goldwork) from the kind of work I've done up until now (basic DMC cotton floss), so I may show bits and pieces of it once it gets started.

Anyway, here is a photo of ED's pillowcase after today's session, and a closer view of the part I've been working on. The fabric isn't all that fine, but I figure this project is a "get me back in the game" warmup. ED wanted grey-blues, so there are three shades in here. The darkest is the curling stems; the medium grey-blue is the swag and some of the leaves. The other leaves are the lightest grey-blue; you can see the differences in the colors mostly in the pair of leaves on the right. The photo doesn't really show it all that well, as the colors are really off. I still have two little leaves and the center flower lines to do on this motif. I can do two of the swags in 15 minutes, as long as I don't have to rip stuff out!
But anyway, it's a nice little activity for the early morning before heading off to work for the next 12-14 hours.

It dawned on me that I give all this away--except for one dresser scarf (not that cross-stitched one!) I don't have one thing that I've made.

Speaking of Eldest Daughter, she is winging her way to Las Vegas for a trade show convention. Her consulting firm website went live yesterday, and she is going to this show to meet up with contacts she made at last year's convention and hopefully land some work. Go, ED!

On the YD front, she got the fourth acceptance yesterday. One is still outstanding, and we figure they are going to say no because she sent her application in past their deadline. Still, I joked that she got an 80% acceptance rate and that is a B...and she didn't like that one bit.

Tomorrow is Son's birthday. I sent him a present but it may not get to him by today :-( I miss my boy and wish I could be there to make him a nice spice cake, his favorite.

Yeah, change and all that...

From Mark Steyn, who is absolutely brilliant:

No laughing matter

In turbulent times, it's good to know some things never change. After a week in which President Obama thanked himself for inviting him to the White House, compared AIG executives to suicide bombers, and did the first Presidential retard joke on national TV, I was impressed to find that Slate is bravely keeping up its Bushism Of The Day feature.

Four more years!

April 1 follies: a letter to my MS students

Dear student,

You were so excited about your project six months ago when you wrote your proposal. You nodded and agreed when I talked to you about doing a reverse calendar, and listened carefully when I outlined the department rules about scheduling defenses, including the requirement to publicly announce the defense ten days in advance. I told you to allow a minimum of two weeks for your committee to read the final report and give you comments, and that the first two and last two weeks of the term were particularly busy for faculty, so it may take longer than two weeks to get the final revisions done before defending. I told you that because English is not your first language, you should get editing help before you send the report to me.

Then you disappeared--got a job, went on co-op, whatever, and I heard from you sporadically. When you told me about the job, I warned you that working full time will delay finishing your degree, and that since you were an international student, you needed to keep to your schedule to avoid a last minute problem with H1B visa applications.

But, alas. My advice and warnings went unheeded, and in the last two weeks (which happen to be the last two of the term) I've been bombarded with hastily (and badly) written/revised work and increasingly anxious (and frequent) inquiries about the possibility of defending before the April 1st deadline for H1B applications. Yesterday I got eight e-mails, all marked urgent, and one phone call from you. I'm about to put you on my spam filter list.

Unfortunately for both of us, you are one of eight students in this exact same situation. My colleague and I, who are on the committees of all eight of you, are a finite resource. We cannot thoughtfully review and comment on eight research reports in less than two weeks. Our patience is also finite. First, you handed in a report I can barely read. It took me three hours to make editing comments so the thing is understandable. While you were waiting to hear from me, you attempted to do an end-around, and sent it to my colleague to read "pending my approval." He let me know, so now we are both annoyed. You also told him you sent me your report "last month"--nice way to intimate that I'd been sitting on it and not responding to you. But let's look at the facts-- you sent it the 26th of February. I sent you revision comments on March 5th. You sent me your revised version March 9th. I returned it March 13th. I think that's a darned good turnaround time.

Like I said, you are one of eight. All eight of you have similar problems with language, and that requires extensive revisions. Editing takes a lot of time that I honestly do not have. Also, because my colleague and I are both attending conferences next week, the available time slots for defenses--allowing for our teaching obligations, faculty meetings, committee meetings, and time to gulp down lunch and go to the bathroom--number exactly six. Two of you are out of luck and at this point I have no sympathy for whoever that might be.

If you are lucky enough to get one of the six slots, you will very likely face extensive post-defense revisions because you did not allow enough time for all your committee members to read your report. You may get a grade reduction because of the poor writing. In the worst case, you may not even pass the defense.

I don't want that to happen any more than you do, mostly because after this past two weeks I just want you gone and out of my hair. Don't you dare ask for reference letters, at least not until enough time has elapsed that I either don't remember this or another student has managed to annoy me enough to take the heat off of you.

Best regards,
Your adviser.

Quick post, because I am up to my eyeballs in MS papers

badly badly written MS papers, all to be read and edited by Monday. Plus a grant proposal to read through and comment on, also by Monday. That means no blogging this weekend, for sure.

But, there's News too great not to print. As of yesterday, YD has been accepted at schools #5, #4, .... and.... NUMBER ONE!!

So my little one will be heading off to college in the fall at her first choice school.

Wow.

I need a raise.

Spring is sprung

Taught my first class of the spring quarter today. I think it will be a fun class, the students seem to have a good sense of humor and it's very much a hand's on class, once we get past the initial intro stuff, so I think they will enjoy it.

Youngest Daughter also started her class at my uni, and we had to do the transportation shuffle with my parents' help. I have meetings every other Tuesday from 12-2, and she needs to be at her other school by 12:30. Then she needs to be picked up at 2, and at 3:30 she goes to voice lessons downtown. Right after that, music history until 5:30. My class ends at 6, so she has to cool her jets until I can get downtown to pick her up. Today she waited in a cafe across the street from the school, and the nice owner insisted she stay in there until I arrived, even though the cafe closes at 6. I don't want the owner to do that every week, though, so YD's going to have to find a different place to wait.

I am in the midst of reading four badly written MS project reports that make me want to rip my eyeballs out. There's not enough chocolate in the house to compensate for this torture.

My right foot hurts like the dickens. That's the sure signal that it's time for new shoes. I may pick up a pair tomorrow morning before I go in to the office, because I am limping around like Chester on Gunsmoke (showing my age there). If I wait too long to buy shoes, there'll be nothing but sandals available, and I can't wear those.

Four profs went up for tenure in my college, and all four got it. That's good.

Last day of break

Tomorrow the spring quarter starts, and I'm back to a busy schedule. Sigh.

Yesterday Youngest Daughter and I went to a new co-worker's home for an open house. Our department is very friendly, but we don't seem to get together much outside of work. That's perfectly okay with me, because I am not terribly social, and I have enough to keep me occupied with my family and friends.

But, in the name of collegiality and being welcoming to the first new faculty member since I was hired, I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies and drove over to the house. We had a very nice time and finally met another co-worker's wife (who reminds me of one of my sisters-in-law).

We've not heard anything from the other colleges YD has applied to, other than finding out that it can take WEEKS for Big State U to associate her high school transcript with her application file. Weeks. That's just nuts. In the meantime, YD continues to juggle classes and work. No wonder she's so stressed!

Hoo boy

I really do not think this was a good idea.

Water, water everywhere

Wow, today was an exciting day!

First, the condo toilet decided to be recalcitrant and not stop running. We tried the usual handle jiggling with mixed results. So, I tried to take the cover off the reservoir. It seemed to be sticking on one side, but I finally got it out (there's a piece of counter that runs over top of the toilet). It was sticking on the float mechanism, which popped right up against that piece of counter--which meant I couldn't get the cover back on.

When the plumber came, he scratched his head for a while and then figured out that the float mechanism is two plastic tubes, one inside the other, with a ring collar that adjusts the height of the mechanism. Somehow the ring collar got loose, and the inner tube rose up as far as it would go. Which means that if the counter wasn't there, the doggone thing would have shot up in the air when I took the cover off. That would have been something to see!

The other water-related issue happened about an hour after the plumber left. The maintenance supervisor for this complex came over to shut off the water in the whole building (turns out the shutoff valve is in my front closet--how whacked is that?). The apartment in the front of the building apparently had some burst pipes, because water was pouring out of the garage door opener in the garage next to mine. I had some water that came down out of the wall in the front, but nothing major. It took some time to get access to the apartment, because the owners are traveling, but finally they were able to get it. The furnace had broken down, and the recent spell of frigid weather froze the pipes. Today it was warm, in the 40s, and they burst. Amazingly, there was little damage to the apartment. But the garage underneath will need extensive dry wall replacement. The supervisor said they will probably replace some in my garage too.

Anyway, that was our fun for the day. Then I found out that the Grad Student from H*** is in my online class this quarter.

The only way to deal with that sort of news is to have a piece of baklava (thanks to Spouse and Eldest Daughter, who got me a bunch from the local Lebanese bakery). Yum!

Family shtuff

Youngest Daughter was accepted at the school of last resort (which happens to be the one I work at). So while she isn't thrilled at that, at least she won't be college-less next fall. We continue to wait on four others.

Eldest Daughter has taken her fate into her own hands and started a consulting business. My parents have given all three kids savings bonds on their birthdays and Christmas for the last ten years. ED is using hers to buy software and equipment she needs. Great idea! Anyway, I am sure she will succeed because she is motivated and loves what she does. And she is good at it.

Ahhh, life's little pleasures

Break week, a pot of Russian Caravan tea, and kitties sleeping at my feet.

Doesn't get much better than that.

Oh, and taxes

Despite choosing "married, but withhold at the higher single rate" on my W4, we will once again have to fork over $2K to Uncle Sam and $1K to NannyState. We are now paying more in federal taxes--just FEDERAL taxes--than my 2004 salary. It's hardly worth it to work.

I should change my party affiliation and not pay the doggone things:
From CongressDaily:

PANEL SAYS KIRK UNDERPAID TAXES
Leaders of the Senate Finance Committee this afternoon revealed that another of President Obama's nominees — U.S. Trade Representative-designate Ron Kirk — has tax problems. Finance staff briefed aides to committee members today on the revelations, which indicate the former Dallas mayor underpaid taxes to the tune of $9,975 during 2005-07, and that he has agreed to promptly file adjustments.

What was that about change?

Ayup, we are getting a whopping load of change:

Today the Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped below 7,000, hitting its lowest level in twelve years. As of this moment, the Dow is at 6,831, down more than 230 from the open.

Now - this isn't just Obama - the fact that AIG is in such dire straits (and getting yet another round of federal bailout funds) is a major contributor.

Having said that, to refresh, on Election Day 2008, the Dow closed at 9,625.

On Inauguration Day 2009, the Dow closed at 7,949.09.

The first full month of the Obama presidency was the worst month for the stock market since 1933.

And,

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try The Exact Same Thing Again?

Sure, stocks are down, but at least the bailouts and massive stimulus bills are on the case of fixing the economy, and we won't have to go through this again...

CNBC Headline: AIG CEO Won't Rule Out Needing Another Bailout

Mort Zuckerman: Get Ready for a Second Obama Economic Stimulus Program

If you find yourself needing to do the exact same thing again right after you just did it, isn't that a sign that it didn't work the first time?

It's up a bit from its low, but at one point, the Dow was below 6800 today...

But this has to be the best line of the day:

Will 'Obama-Resistant' Be the Investing Adjective of 2009?

Just on CNBC, a promo for the manic Jim Cramer's show: "Jim Cramer will show you how to make your portfolio Obama-resistant!"

That would appear to be the opposite of a vote of confidence.

On other fronts, the winter quarter is concluded and spring quarter starts next Monday. I've got several e-mails from grad students already today and I am ignoring them, just for today. If it's break week for the university, I ought to at least get one day off.